Pay Dirt
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Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so we’re diving into the Pay Dirt archives to share classic letters with our readers. Submit your own questions about money here. (It’s anonymous!)
Dear Pay Dirt,
Since my father died, my mother’s spending has gotten out of control. Her new “Life’s too short!” mentality, combined with a worsening gambling addiction, has led her finances to take a nosedive. She doesn’t seem to care that she’s cleaning out her retirement account and racking up debt, because she truly believes that all her bills will magically disappear when she’s gone. But in reality, isn’t she just making a big mess for the next generation to clean up? What impact can my mother’s bad financial habits have on me and my siblings? Do you have any advice on how we can help her see clearly and get out of these bad habits?
—Hesitant to Inherit Debt
Dear Hesitant,
I am so sorry about the loss of your father. I’ve experienced the loss of a parent firsthand and it’s rough. It’s also rough to watch the parent that’s here spiral due to their grief.
TL;DR: You are not responsible for the debt your mother leaves when she is gone, unless you co-sign something for her, OR she ends up leaving behind medical bills and you live in a state that recognizes filial responsibility laws. I’ll explain.
When someone dies, their estate inherits their debt. So the debt she owes would be taken out of whatever assets she has left. It doesn’t sound like there is going to be much left to pay off her creditors, so any legal action they pursue will be short lived, unless what’s left is a certain kind of debt: the aforementioned medical bills, or payments due to a nursing home. This is where filial responsibility law comes in.
Filial responsibility laws hold an aging parent’s children accountable for their medical bills, should Medicaid not cover those expenses. It’s not right, if you ask me, but some states have gone this route to allow creditors to seek payment from families. There are 26 states that allow filial responsibility laws to govern what happens after a parent dies, so your next step is to do your research to see if you live in one of them. From there, you can decide your next course of action, whether it be seeking an attorney who specializes in elder law, therapy for your mom, or both.
—Athena Valentine
From: How Can I Get My Parents To Disinherit My Lazy, Cruel Sister? (November 9th, 2021).
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