Last weekend, I attended my town’s tree lighting ceremony to commence the holiday season. I went into the event thinking just how the technicians would easily switch on the tree’s lights, the holiday spirit would also illuminate inside me. But then an unfortunate event occurred that would lead me to spiral. A treat I had been looking forward to all day was sold-out: a cup of hot chocolate.
As a result, I turned into a Grinch about to steal a memorable night with my bad mood. While I should have admired the joy of my daughter soaking it in, all I could think about was my sold-out hot chocolate. But like the old saying goes in relationships, it’s not about the dishes. Perhaps, my bad mood wasn’t about the hot chocolate either. More likely, it was a bunch of tiny inconveniences and annoyances that had built up throughout the day, or even week, and boiled over into me being thrown into a tizzy because I couldn’t get a hot chocolate.
I’m sure I’m not alone in such a scenario during the holiday season. And it’s not just because it’s a stressful time of year, but it could be due to an accumulation of what has been dubbed “microstressors.” While it’s not a clinical term, psychologist Dr. Carla Manly, and podcast host of Imperfect Love, defined microstressors like the waves of meringue on top of a tasty pie.
“They’re the small dollops of stress that occur throughout the day,” Manly told me. “In many cases, we are not aware when a microstress occurs and may only take notice when an accumulation of microstressors causes feelings of overwhelm or angst.”
An estimated nine out of 10 adults say something causes them stress during the holiday season.
From travel, decorating the house and tree to meal preparations to family dynamics, not to mention financial overload, the psychological strain can be immense during the holiday season, Manly said. According to a poll conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA) an estimated nine out of 10 adults say something causes them stress during the holiday season; a little less than half say that the stress interferes with their ability to enjoy the holidays. Microstressors, Manly explained, have a sneaky way of building up over time.
The metaphor of “the straw that broke the camel’s back” rings true for many over the holiday season, meaning that seemingly small stressor can have the power of triggering a big reaction, “such as learning at the last minute that an extra guest is coming to dinner,” Manly said. “For those who are people pleasers or always on the go, it’s all too easy for the holiday season to take an especially heavy physical and psychological toll.”
Rob Cross, senior vice president of research at the Institute for Corporate Productivity and co-author of The Microstress Effect, who helped coin the term microstressor,