UncategorizedBest of the Babylon Bee: US hockey team melts down gold medals...

Best of the Babylon Bee: US hockey team melts down gold medals to replace missing teeth

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

Illustration of a hockey player in uniform next to a crucible of melting gold medals, with the headline

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Babylon Bee

“What better use for all this gold?” said Team USA’s Jack Hughes, struggling to pronounce all the words through his chipped teeth. READ MORE

An illustration of a man with a beard and dark hair wearing a suit and tie, standing in front of an American flag and a blue flag, with a headline

Babylon Bee

Mayor Zohran Mamdani reported a projected $5.4 billion budget gap, marking the first time in recorded history that a socialist has ever run out of money. READ MORE

Tucker Carlson looking confused in front of ancient stone walls, holding a phone, with text about uncovering evidence that Israel is controlled by Jews.

Babylon Bee

According to sources, Carlson, ever the professional, tried to push these thoughts to the back of his mind because he was not a conspiracy theorist obsessed with the Jews. READ MORE

News article discussing Gavin Newsom's presidential ambitions.

Babylon Bee

“Oh, that was him?” voter Randal Caspian said. “I didn’t realize he was the governor of that state. California isn’t really the state I want to model the entire country on. That place is the worst.” READ MORE

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